Arranged marriage? Oh, u mean like Bahubali and Devasena!

(Following work is mix of fiction and some random thoughts. No intentions of criticising any traditional norms nor idea of feminism. So read it keeping aside such biasness. Thanks)

When Bahubali was introduced to Devasena and her family as the heir to Mahishmati Kingdom, he expressed his desire to marry Devasena and take her to his Kingdom. He promised to take care of her and protect her, respect her and be there for her always. Little did Bahubali know that he was laying the foundation stone of arrange marriages for future generations.

 'What crap Prasad? Bahubali and Devasena is no arrange marriage but perfect example of romance culminating into love marriage', well, that's what you would argue. But hear me out, let every Bahubali and Devasena know why it is an arrange marriage. Very moment Devasena makes her entry cutting through a piece of curtain with her sharp sword and her eyes gazing towards the camera, Bahubali loses his heart to her. Isn't it what we do today? I mean in arrange marriages, we look at picture of girl or boy and start liking them instantly. Oh but there is more. Bahubali enters Devasena's kingdom trying to know her more and woo her while Devasena who starts liking him yet does not express her love for him instead giving out fillers by singing songs for him.Oh how original! Similarly, in arrange marriages, two people try to know each other, one of them going all out trying to woo the other until they both start liking each other but minus the songs and those dance around the trees or flowers. And finally, when they find out Bahubali is heir to the throne of Mahishmati and he expresses his desire to marry Devasena, they all agree, perfect example of arrange marriage how we look for a stable job with good income be it guy or girl. And promises that Bahubali makes to Devasena are part of add ons that arrange marriages bring wherein vows are exchanged. There you have it, Bahubali and Devasena are creators of arrange marriage!

Well, moving from tale of fiction to reality, I wish everyone was as lucky as Bahubali and Devasena in today's world. I mean wouldn't it be nice to just fight off a gang of bandits and woo your love finally to get her hand in marriage. Imagine Bahubali and Devasena in 2020. Bahubali telling katappa to be the middle person to approach Devasena's family. Oh and not to forget, the endless profiles that they would have to scan through matrimonial websites,bahubali posing in those gym pics or in those sunglasses while Devasena flaunting her traditional designer saree, thus, selecting someone just from their picture and few details. Better than just falling for sword yielding Devasena or Bahubali isn't it. Not to mention Devasena coming all nicely dressed up bringing tea and steaming plate of poha while Bahubali, katappa and rajmata sit and observe the old traditional norms.( Maybe Bahubali can next time make tea and plate of poha himself while Devasena can sit and enjoy the hospitality.) Anyways, so they decide to move to next level and try to know each other. So begins the conversation on whatsapp and over the phone minus the songs that Devasena sang for Bahubali in the movie. And this where reality hits hard!

This is when things would get interesting. In movies, Bahubali would have fought off a bull or killed few wild pigs and bandits finally winning over Devasena. But when it comes to reality, trying to know each other being strangers is not easy. Frustrating as it maybe, Bahubali would have just returned back to his kingdom giving up or Devasena would just stay single for rest of her life happily in her brother's kingdom. I guess not every Bahubali can have his Devasena in real life nor every Devasena can easily bend to idea of knowing a complete stranger. If only it was as easy as the movie, arranged marriages would have been so much easier. 

Yet, how lucky are those few, who actually click, who actually are lucky enough to find someone similar to them or find someone who feels partly the way they do taking exactly same efforts to know each other. But perhaps, the word few tells how rest of them perish. And Devasena ends up with Bhallaldev or Bahubali ends up with someone else, the feelings that either of them had for each other before buried deep only because they could not express it to a stranger! 

Well, arrange marriages are not bad. There are examples of people who slowly fall in love while knowing each other making arrange marriage feel like a blessing. But problem arises when love or emotions or feelings are not communicated in proper way or channel and the process becomes so frustrating, that either of them ignores what other feels and leaves halfway beginning a search for new prospect. In the end, Bahubali becomes Devdas or Devasena becomes another Paaro, with feelings they had buried under the weight of their ego. 

Maybe Bahubali and Devasena just need to take a step back and think from other person's perspective. After all, arrange marriages are also about showing flexibility and adjustments. Understand each other's emotions, give each other time, show respect to other's feelings and work on a better way of communication. Not everything is as easy as the movie yet even an interesting conversation is not difficult when each one tries to take interest in whatever they are talking about. Arrange marriages are not easy especially when girl having to leave her home and first family into an unknown territory. Yet when Bahubali promises to look after and protect her, with all his love, Devasena could atleast understand the fragility of Bahubali's emotions and respect it giving him a bit of time filling each day with new sense of excitement of talking with each other. And then why wouldn't Bahubali understand importance of patience and tolerance allowing her to bloom like a flower and start a new chapter in their journey.

But I guess realities are different than movies. And yet Bahubali and Devasena who lay the foundation stone of arrange marriages might succeed in reel world but fail miserably in real world. Still the hope that human emotions carry makes us believe that everything would be alright and take the giant leap of faith into unknown called arrange marriages. Sip a cup of hot tea, relax and sit back. The story is not over yet. Let all the Bahubali's find their Devasena's and let all Devasena's slowly move into a new chapter of life called marriage with love and true emotions. Arranged marriages can't be that bad, right?

70 days plan for UPSC civil services prelims 2020

By,

SHINDE PRASAD SITARAM

INDIAN FOREST SERVICE-2019 

ALL INDIA RANK-10 Maharashtra topper

Appeared for civil services interview-3 times

Appeared for Indian forest service interview-3 times

Prelims scores in previous attempts- 148, 136, 124, 122

Hello friends,

So the ongoing covid-19 pandemic led to UPSC postponing civil services prelims 2020 to October 4, 2020 from previous date of 31st May, 2020. I am quite sure that many of you must have already finished preparation keeping in mind the previous date and currently doing revision and paper solving. I have received quite a lot of queries about what to do over next two months, how to approach the prelims, how to increase the scores with students facing lot of anxiety, confusion and dilemma. 

So in this blog, I would like to suggest the do's and don't over the next 70 days in your journey. If you have any questions, you can ask them in the comment section below.

1) I am sure that when new dates were announced by UPSC, many of you spent last one to two months in making your optional strong and studying for general studies papers of mains. Well, for last 70 days, keep aside your optional and mains studies and totally become prelims oriented.

2) You have already finished reading for prelims 1-2 times (based on previous prelims date). So in last 70 days, its time for quick revision and paper solving.

- Don't skip any section be it medieval India/ancient india/ art and culture. You still have 70 days left and you can easily cover left over sections. UPSC is totally unpredictable and last year many aspirants could not clear prelims because they left medieval India section thinking that very few or no questions would come from it. Don't take risks, cover what is left out.

- Don't take any new books/any new material that you see in market. I'm sure you must have your list of books written, cover those only and keep revising them. As prelims come near you will see many new material come up in market which are total waste of time, energy and money creating confusion.

-Don't miss out on test paper solving. Take any two good test series (I used to take vision IAS and Forum IAS) and solve their complete set be it sectional and full length test series. You need to solve atleast 70 test papers before prelims and this is what makes the difference. It doesn't matter how much you score in these tests, what matters is that it will increase your accuracy, gives you extra information by reading the explanations later and makes you follow time limit properly. Important thing is that you read the explanation of the answers of test papers since you gain that extra knowledge which you can easily connect with related questions that UPSC might ask. It's all about connecting the dots in exam if you are not sure about the answer.

List of Do's in next 70 days

1) Divide your day with 10 hours of study (This is what I used to follow) giving time for revision of different subjects (approx 4 hours), current affairs (2hours), paper solving (4 hours including solving, checking and reading explanation).

2) Polity (only laxmikanth)- 5 days, Geography(GC Leong and 11th NCERT)-4 days, Ancient India (11th ncert)-4 days, Medieval India (11th ncert)-4 days, Modern India (only spectrum)-4 days, Economics basics- 2 days, Environment (Shankar IAS book)- 5 days, Leucent general knowledge book (only read history part, very important data given for ancient and medieval India)- 2 days. So in 30 days you can finish revision of important parts for prelims. ( Number of days are given based on assumption that you already finished reading the subject atleast twice before and this is fast revision).

3) Sections such as Economics current issues, International institutions/groups, environmental groups in news, science and technology part cover in current affairs. Also, For environmental groups/institutions in news, do a quick google search and visit MOEFCC website to see their initiatives in last one year. Environment section is very important for prelims and its weightage has certainly increased with indian forest service prelims being common with civil services.

4) For current affairs, take up either vision 365 or insights compilation. Also, do read Sunya notes for current affairs. ( Cover current affairs from Jan 2019 upto August 2020 ). UPSC has asked question before from events which occurred two years ago . So try to cover current affairs for past two years.

5) Once in 30 days you finish revision of general subjects, utilise that time to look at solved prelims papers of last 25 years. It is very important that you do so not because questions might get repeated but to gain extra information from the explanations that are given for the questions. You can utilise that knowledge for related questions in exam. Buy a solved papers book which gives well detailed explanation. There are plenty in market.

6) Do not ignore CSAT paper. Many of my friends who had appeared for interview could not clear prelims next year because they ignored CSAT paper. Solve atleast 10 CSAT papers before prelims and its better to solve actual past question papers to get a hang of it. The type of questions in CSAT english passages has changed in last few years. Look at them, find the meaning of terms like 'corollary', 'implied' etc that is asked in question because only then you could pick correct answer from options.

During actual exam

1) Firstly, do not study anything on previous day of prelims. Listen to music, go out for breath of fresh air (with mask on :L ) and get atleast 8 hours of sleep.

2) In exam hall, do not go into panic mode once you see the question papers. Once you go into panic mode, your brain stops recollecting stuff. Relax, you have already done your preparation and its matter of solving just another paper.

3) In your first round of looking at questions, do not start marking in answer sheet. First, look at questions in question paper, tick the answer in question paper itself.

4) You do not have to solve all the questions in first round. Only tick the answers of questions you are 100 percent sure of and move on to next ones.

5) In second round of looking at question paper, start marking the answers in answer sheet for ones you have ticked in question paper and you are sure of. Then move to questions that you left. Always use elimination technique no matter what in prelims. 

6) You do not have to attempt or know all the 100 questions. There will be some questions no matter how much you study, you won't be able to answer. Attempt a question only if you can eliminate two options in a question. Otherwise do not take unnecessary risk of attempting which will give you negative marks. Attempting around 85 questions with such a strategy will put you in safe zone to qualify. 

7) Watch out for key words like 'ONLY' in options. Such an option most of the times is wrong. Also, Vijayanagara kingdom is favourite of UPSC so if in any question you are not sure of answer and it has some option related to vijaynagara kingdom, then that is your answer. (Do read tamil nadu state board history text book covering vijaynagara kingdom). Also, most of the questions are such wherein if you eliminate one option, you will easily get answer. So always use elimination technique in all questions. 

8) Read the options and statements properly. Most of the times UPSC plays with words especially in Polity questions so read it with an eagle's eye. 

Finally, again I'm mentioning do not attempt questions if you can't eliminate two options or one's you know nothing about. Such unnecessary risks may cause you another year. After coming out, do not start checking your answers with those released by any classes on same day as most of the answers are wrong, questions being solved in a hurry. take around 2-3 days and wait for a well researched answer key released by some classes.

Cut off for Indian forest service is usually 10 -15 marks higher than cut off for civil services. Last year cut off for Indian forest service was 114. Anyways, keep a target of scoring 120 plus in prelims. 

If you have any queries, do leave your question in comment section and hopefully this blog will be useful for your preparation.

ALL THE BEST!!!

Tiny tales 5

Every night he would look at her picture, thinking what she must be doing,

does she think of him, does she even know him, does she feel how he feels,

questions he had no answers to, questions which kept him awake in her dreams.

Time to meet was close, yet still being separated by a  distance of thousand miles,

his heart already completing half the journey while his eyes still searching for her sight.

'Why oh lord, Why do I feel a huge rush of emotions for her? I do not know who she is, 

nor have I met her, yet it was like he knew her all his life,' questions he had no answers to,

but all he hoped was that one day he will get through, get through to find her on other side,

idea of her in his life, taking her hand and making her his bride.

All he knew was that he had already fallen in her love, stepping into the unknown,

perhaps some questions have no answers, some feelings have no explanations,

all he could do was pen down in words, his feelings, his emotions.

And as he held her picture near to his heart closing his eyes, all he could think of was her smile,

and he was ready , ready to again be awake while being lost in her dreams,  

while slowly but surely his heart covering in this journey towards her another mile.

Tiny tales 4

Just when he though that love was not meant for him giving up hope of finding the one,

she came in her life, one look at her picture and suddenly things changed.

There was something about her, something which he never felt before.

Her smile he just could not get over, those eyes in which he was slowly drowning into,

and just like morning sunshine bringing new hope and rays of happiness in his empty life again.

All he could do was wonder what it was, why he felt so connected with her,

he felt so close and yet so far, didn't meet her yet felt like she had already touched his soul.

He did not know what the future held for them, but all he could do was hope,

hope that it was not the last time he would see her, hope that he would get to meet her.

For him, it was only the beginning of a journey into the unknown,

yet she unaware of his emotions perhaps knowing of only his existence.

He had fallen for her, his heart already trying to build the bridge without knowing the end,

but perhaps it was his love, love that he felt which made him believe,

her picture the only witness of his emotions as he walked into darkness but refusing to leave,

while even his silence made noise, as three little words flowed in them,

waiting, waiting patiently when finally one day he will get to hear her voice.

Baba, mi officer jhalo! (Dear Father, I have finally become an officer!)

Happy Fathers day Baba! I know its bit late, and you have every reason to be angry with me. I just did not know where to start, how do I express or gather courage to just tell you how much I love you! I am writing this blog probably because this is the only way I could pen down my emotions for you effectively.
During 30 years of my existence, I do not remember a day when I was able to tell you boldly how much you mean to me. Yet, there wasn't a day when you would not ask aai about me, how I was and what I was doing.

Beneath that hard persona u built up over the years, I knew you always carried that softer side, a side which you would not allow us to see but quietly you would nurture yourself keeping us in your thoughts always. If only I had a time machine, I would gladly go back to the time when you used to take me to Juhu beach on weekends, make the little me happily sit in front of you on bike while I would act as if I'm the one controlling the bike. Those ice creams which you would give without even me asking for it or those horse rides on the beach as you watched me smile sitting quietly in distance.
You worked three different jobs to make ends meet, yet you never made me feel as if we don't have enough. I remember the thing you always used to say 'cut down on useless expenses, but never compromise on food'. And so even after working tirelessly throughout the day to earn a few rupees, you did not hesitate to spend on those delicious tandoori chickens that I used to love as a child.

You did not compromise even with the education I had and always allowed me to pursue my dreams. Be it good school, college or even my dream to become an officer. I still remember everytime I see a school bus how tightly you hugged me one day outside the school with joy of finding me after dada forgot to pick me up from school bus at usual time. That day I felt like you are there to always protect me, felt like you would never let anything happen to me. Yet by the time I went to college, distance grew between us. Somehow, the occasional beatings you used to give me and your anger became heavier than love you showed that I drowned myself into the abyss where all I cared for later was me.

I was blinded by youth, flying with my new wings of freedom, trying to soar into the unknown without thinking of how you felt or what you wanted. Yet you never stopped me. Be it when I foolishly grew my hair long like Dhoni in college or when I wanted to go abroad to Ireland to pursue post graduation. You did not even once talk with me over phone call when I was abroad for 4 years yet aai would be the only solace for you to know that I am doing well. I know you did not want to show me your emotional side and I was too engulfed in my own pride to see clearly through the walls we built between us. I blamed you for us living in a chawl yet you would quietly send money into my account every month while I was away. I lived away from home for 10 long years, yet you would always be there like a shadow protecting me.

Even when I wanted to be come an officer and stepped into the unknown where thousands perish each year, you and aai never stopped believing in me. I remember first time when I reached interview stage, how happy you were, and even during short period I was at home, you used to get up early and make breakfast and tea for me so that I could study comfortably. Yet, everytime all efforts were in vain when I could not clear the final hurdle. Still, you kept your belief in me, provided me with everything when I should be the one to look after you in your retirement life. I was fool not to tell you how much I love you.

But I hate you, I hate you for leaving me in this journey all alone. How dare you snatch away from me that smile which I wanted to see so dearly on your face once I become an officer. I had always imagined that one day when I become an officer, I would hug you tightly and finally break the invisible wall built over years. I imagined one day you holding your grandchild happily playing with her. But all I came back to was an empty house without you, and everytime I see the empty bed in the corner I remember our final meet, when I held your hand close to me and cried wishing for you to stay alive, to stay alive atleast till I fulfil your dream of becoming an officer. I am sorry Baba, I took this long. But when results came out and I saw my name in final list, my first call was to you, my tears of happiness calling out to you, ' Baba, mi officer jhalo baba!'

Why do I feel you traded your life with God to fulfil my wish of success? Yet I know you are not gone, you are always there looking over me and smiling from heavens. Otherwise, you wouldn't come to my dreams every now and then finally smiling, smile of fulfilment and happiness. I am today what I am because of you and there is not even a single day that I don't miss you. I blamed you for us living in chawl, yet now I would trade all riches and comfort to see you again. I grew angry everytime you raised your hand on me, yet now I so badly want to hold that hand one more time close to me. Baba if you think this is the end and you seen what you wanted, I guess you are wrong.
Don't you dare leave yet wherever you are, this journey of happiness has just started. I promise the man that you made me would make a mark with my work making you more proud. Also, one of my dreams is still left-you with your granddaughter!Baba, I love you!

Tiny tales 3

And there they were lost in each other's world not knowing what will come next.
She had finally found herself in his eyes, slowly drowning in the words that flowed,
while time stood still bearing witness to their love.
All that was between them were those little cups of tea, whose only work was to bring them together.
Tea was becoming cold but not the warmth of their love,
His eyes which were waiting to see her for so long were still searching answers staring at her lovely smile.
He was waiting for her to confess, waiting to know if she felt the same rush of emotions and love which made him dream about her every night.
For her, it was the moment she had wished for but still hesitant to use the three little words.
As their hands searched for the tea cups on table, they instead found each other.
And as they met, both found the answer to their questions, only this time, in their silence those three little words were spoken!

Dear Future Wife...

(Open letter for my future wife)

Dear Future Wife,
       
I have taken time out today to explain to you what you are getting yourself into. I mean I may not be your prince charming riding on a horse, but I can definitely do enough to make you my Queen forever. After all, we taureans are not easy to deal with. Strong headed, stubborn at times and not the ones to backdown but when we turn to our romantic sides, be ready for surprises, love and absolute joyride of a relationship.

Oh but wait! I hope you are not the messy kind cause I would eat your head to keep things in place and even our romantic cups of tea would have to be placed perfectly. And not to mention being a good listener, cause my emotions would flow out in endless words during our romantic walks. And hope your good at philosophy because the Plato and Socrates in me could awaken any day looking for a brilliant conversation. Finally, hope you can handle my emotions with care cause they become fragile as I will dive deeper into your love with each passing day.

I am a very straightforward person. I know it can be bad at times but isn't it good to be clear about things. Let's just talk. Talk about anything, even the dumbest of things though we may not agree over it. But I'm all ears. I'm always there for you whenever you want to share anything or talk about anything. If you ever do get angry, let me know what I have done, shout on me, hell even throw few tantrums but don't go all quiet on me. A strong relationship would be built only when we talk and sort out things or even misunderstandings.

I may not be a perfect person. Let's admit it I'm a human after all. I have made mistakes in my life, I have hurt people, I have gone against my values and even walked down the wrong path. But I was young, I was naive, situations changed, I learned from my mistakes and I grew into the person that I am today, a person who promises to give you all the love, to be honest, loyal and love u till the last breath. If there is anything that I would expect is loyalty with ur complete love and reward would be keeping u happy for life being my Queen that u so deserve to be in ur life!

There will be times when I would go into my own shell reflecting on things, reflecting on my life, thinking about my future plans so let me apologize now itself if I don't talk for hours or even a day. This has nothing to do with you, nor ur fault. It's just me, the way I am and I promise when I come back from my hibernation nothing would have changed except for my love which will grow stronger with each day and so would I , for you and for myself!

And remember if I ever do get angry, way to my heart is through my favourite dish- Fish! Oh yes, I absolutely love fried fish but I will let you surprise me for even Gajar Halwa will melt me within seconds. Or maybe u can just come and hold me in a tight hug for few minutes and remind me we are one, easy way for you to win over my anger.

Sundays will be special. Cause Chef Prasad will be at work. And all the women of the house will be pampered. I know you would ask 'what about other days?' My dear, I would if  I could, but let me work on other days .  I promise that on Sundays I will be at ur service. I hope you do like movies because there will be days when we will run to cinema to watch the best and even worst of the films , after all I just love watching movies. Maybe we will relax at home sometimes with Netflix on or maybe just go to theatre and watch a very good play/drama. Oh did I tell you I was theatre actor before!

My dear, as I write this I'm not sure who you are, where you are or when you will come into my life. But rest assured you have some beautiful poems and stories to catch up to, ones I have written keeping you in my mind, a girl who will love me for what I am, a girl who will stand by me through thick and thin, a girl who will always keep me right. There are so many things which I wanted to write but I wouldn't want to scare you away in my very first letter.

Let this be the first of many , let the words flow, let my emotions reach you and soon, one day we will have three little words in our conversation, conversation which will last for lifetime!